Wild Weekend of Sports: Down Goes The Captain

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Wild Weekend of Sports highlights the biggest and best sports news and events from the weekend, with a little bit of comic relief.

Saturday

* Notre Dame stayed undefeated in a 20-13 overtime victory over Stanford. After the game, Matt Leinart called Reggie Bush laughing hysterically. “HAHAHA Those Stanford “geniuses” don’t even know how to push a running back over the goal line!” Bush replied: “How ’bout them Raiders…”

* LSU beat South Carolina 23-21 to get back into the BCS bowl talk and set up another huge game versus Alabama. Steve Spurrier blamed the game on Connor Shaw’s poor decision making, saying “maybe he got hit in the head.” Les Miles’ explanation: “Maybe we’re 10/6 better than them…” That a boy Mad Hatter!

* Anderson Silva beat Stephan Bonnar at UFC 153 with a flying knee kick. After the fight, Jon Jones yelled “I want Silva!” And then he ran away…

* Texas Tech crushed West Virginia 49-14 and Geno Smith’s heisman campaign came crashing down. After the game, a new Genius World Record was broken for the most corny “Defense wins championships” speeches by high school football coaches.

* In Game 1 of the ALCS, the Detroit Tigers defeated the New York Yankees 6-4. Derek Jeter was helped off the field in the 12th inning and was diagnosed with a fractured ankle. No jokes here… just tears… 96 tears…

Sunday

* The first BCS standings came out with the top five in this order: 1. Alabama 2. Florida 3. Oregon 4. Kansas State 5. Notre Dame. In Eugene, OR., Chip Kelly called De’Anthony Thomas immediately. “Get ready DAT, you’re actually gonna get the ball now. Looks like we’re just gonna put up 100 for the computer.” And then Snoop Dogg (Lion) compared De’Anthony Thomas to Thomas Edison…

* The Seattle Seahawks stunned the New England Patriots 24-23, thanks to Russell Wilson’s 46-yard touchdown pass to Sidney Rice with 1:18 remaining. After the game Russell Wilson was named new Emperor of Munchkinland as the Lollipop Guild pranced around the field and taunted Tom Brady.

* The Falcons are now the last unbeaten team after the Houston Texans lost 42-24 to the Green Bay Packers. With Aaron Rodgers giving praise for feeling safe thanks to State Farm’s Discount Double Check, Brett Favre came out of his Matt Schaub disguise and yelled, “SHUTUP! I WEAR WRANGLERS! AND I’M REAL COMFORTABLE!” Maybe a little too comfortable with the zipper down and his phone out… I wonder who he was texting…

* The Tigers took a 2-0 ALCS lead on the Yankees with a 3-0 victory. Umpire Jeff Nelson was named 2012’s Biggest Party Pooper for blowing the game and ejecting Joe Girardi on his birthday.

* The St. Louis Cardinals took a 1-0 lead in the NLCS with a 6-4 win in San Francisco. Giants fans booed Carlos Beltran as Katy Perry’s “The One That Got Away” echoed throughout the stadium.

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Categories: Sports

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