Wild Weekend of Sports: Bay Area Blunders and Upsets Galore


Wild Weekend of Sports highlights the biggest and best sports news and events from the weekend, with a little bit of comic relief.


* Penn State won its fourth straight game by upsetting undefeated Northwestern 39-28. After the game, Penn State quarterback, Matt McGloin, gave all praise to his long-lost cousin Brian Scalabrine.

* Three top five teams lost in college football on the same day for the first time since October 11, 2008. The only real explanation is the BCS sucks. Oh wait, there’s been no BCS rankings yet… Still the only real explanation.

* The Cincinnati Reds beat the San Francisco Giants 5-2 thanks to home runs by Brandon Phillips and Jay Bruce to go ahead 1-0 in the NLDS. After the game, Dusty Baker addressed the media about Johnny Cueto’s injury. “No need to worry. Johnny will be fine, and he’s on his way to treatment right now. Super Cuts! His dreds were weighing him down, but it’s OK! SUPER CUTS BABY!”

* Justin Verlander dominate the Oakland A’s with 11 K’s and Jarrod Parker’s error was huge in Detroit’s 3-1 victory to go ahead 1-0 in the ALDS. Clearly it was not the brilliance of Verlander, but an excessive amount of Bernie Leaning that wore out the A’s before the game.


* Andrew Luck looked like a star in the Indianapolis Colts 30-27 upset over the Green Bay Packers. After the game, photos of a four leaf clover shaved into Luck’s ferocious neck beard emerged. CLEVER?!?!

* In the Kansas City Chiefs 9-6 loss against the Baltimore Ravens, Brady Quinn replaced an injured Matt Cassell. Oh funny joke, Brady Quinn still plays football. Seriously he does! Notre Dame must really be relevant again… HAHAHAHAHA!

* Drew Brees broke Johnny Unitas’ record by throwing a touchdown in 48 straight games in the New Orleans Saints 31-24 victory over the San Diego Chargers, thanks to Phillip Rivers “Vicking” away the game. Get it?!?! “Vicking,” because he fumbled! GOD I’M CLEVER!

* Thanks to Coco Crisp’s costly error, the Detroit Tigers took a 2-0 lead in their 5-4 victory over the Oakland A’s. I guess Coco Crisp went to cooky for Cookie Crisps this morning… GOD I’M CLEVER! HAHAHA! I’ll stop there.

* The Nationals and Yankees won as well… unfortunately, I have nothing CLEVER for that…

Categories: Sports

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